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"I'm not interested in your little games, boy," Vegeta said to Kakarrot's first-born son. "If you think you can beat me, then attack me!"
"That's it!" Gohan said as he dashed at Vegeta. Vegeta quickly dodged and kicked the teenager in the back of the head, knocking him forward. Gohan recovered, jumped a few feet backward, and shot a fireball at Vegeta, which Vegeta easily dodged.
"Come on, Super Saiyan, you've got to have more than that!" Vegeta mocked.
"Okay, if you think you can do better, come down here and try!" Gohan called back.
"Why should I come down there?" Vegeta asked as he powered up a Final Flash.
'Holy crap!' Gohan thought. 'Surely he's not gonna try to hit me with that!'
"Final Flash!" Vegeta called out as he shot the huge deadly blast downward at Gohan. The young man barely had time to dodge before a big explosion ensued.
"Taking this a bit seriously, aren't you?" Gohan asked as he got up, rubbing his shoulder. "This is only practice!"
"Bah!" Vegeta said. "I take all of my fighting seriously! You've gotten lazy!"
"Okay, old man! That's it!" Gohan said. "I'm hitting you with everything I've got!"
"Bring it on, kid!" Vegeta said as he launched downward at Gohan and punched him in the jaw. Gohan quickly regained his composure and tossed Vegeta toward the ground, then came in with a stomp right on Vegeta's gut.
"Ha! Take that one, old man!" Gohan said.
"It'll take more than that to take me out!" Vegeta said as he grabbed Gohan by the leg and punched him in the stomach, then grabbed him by the throat and flew up about a hundred feet.
"The question is, can you really withstand my attacks?" Vegeta immediately shot toward the ground like a bullet and slammed Gohan into the rockhard surface.
"Ugh..." Gohan moaned.
"Ha ha, little boy!" Vegeta smirked. "You fight well, but you will always be that little boy on Namek to me. Keep practicing." With that, a bright blue flame encircled Vegeta and he shot off into the air.
'By Kami, I'm beat,' he thought. 'I can't wait to get back to the peace and quiet of home.'
With Vegeta's super speed, it was not long before he was back home, but it was anything but peaceful and quiet. Vegeta had forgotten that today was his daughter Bra's third birthday. So, everyone his little girl knew was at the party. While Vegeta was not the overly-sensitive type, he did make sure and order a gift early. He was insured by the Postal Service that it would be there the day of the party.
Vegeta strolled into the house and made his way through the masses of rugrats who were screaming and yelling and playing.
"Bulma!" Vegeta called. "Where's the mail?"
"Here you go, honey," Bulma said as she handed Vegeta the mail. Vegeta glanced through it quickly.
"Junk mail, bill, bill, magazine, junk mail," he read aloud as he fingered through it. "Is this all?"
"Yep," Bulma said.
"This can't be all of it," Vegeta said. "I'm expecting a package. It was supposed to be here today."
"Well, that's all we got," Bulma said. "What were you expecting?"
"Our daughter's birthday gift," Vegeta said angrily. "Where is it?"
"I don't know," Bulma said. "It must be late. Call the post office."
Vegeta picked up the reciever and leafed through the phone book. Finding the number, he dialed it quickly. He was already visibly annoyed, and everyone who knew him knew better than to bother him when he was in such an agitated state.
"Hello?" Vegeta said. "I'd like to talk to someone in charge. I was expecting a package today."
"Hold on, sir," the operator said. Before Vegeta could reply, he was listening to a soothing Yanni tune.
Vegeta sat there, tapping his foot and waiting for someone else to pick up the phone.
"Hello?" a voice answered.
"Yes?" Vegeta asked. "I was expecting a package today. It did not arrive. I need it now."
"Name, sir?" the operator asked.
"Vegeta," Vegeta answered.
"Um, oh yes," the operator answered. "We have your package right here. You'll have to come pick it up."
"It was supposed to be delivered today," Vegeta said. "It's my daughter's birthday. Why is that package not here?"
"I'm sorry, sir," the operator said. "There were some problems. You'll have to come pick it up."
"I'll be over in five minutes," Vegeta said.
"No, sir," the operator said. "You'll have to pick it up tomorrow. We're closed for the day."
"No, I need that package today," Vegeta said.
"I'm sorry, sir," the operator said. "You can pick it up the first thing in the morning. Or, we can deliver it for you."
"No," Vegeta said. "Today is my daughter's birthday. I will have that package today. I'm coming over right now. I recommend that you have that package waiting for me." With that, he hung up the phone, and shot out the door before flying off.
Within moments, he was at the post office. The door was locked, but this made little difference to him. He ripped it off the hinges and tossed it aside as he confidently strolled in.
"I'm sorry, sir," one of the clerks said. "We're closed."
"I came to pick up a package," Vegeta said. "My daughter's birthday present. Where is it?"
"I'm sorry, sir, we're closed." the clerk repeated.
"Listen," Vegeta said as he reached across the counter and grabbed the man by the shirt collar. "You are gonna give me my package or it's lights out!"
"Okay, sir," the clerk said. "They told me to give you this message. Come to the USPS National Office."
"I don't have time for these games," Vegeta said.
"I assure you, this is no game," the clerk said.
"And just who am I supposed to meet there? And why do I have to go there?" Vegeta asked, agitated now.
"I dunno," the clerk said. "Some guys... some government guys... in black."
"Oh, really?" Vegeta said. "Well, I'll tell you what. Tell me where this office is at, and I'll go. But if you're lying, I'll come back and kill you myself."
"I'm not lying, sir," the clerk said. "It's in the capial."
"Well, then," Vegeta said. "I'll just be off, then. But if you're lying..." With that Vegeta busted through the window and flew off.
In moments he was flying through the air on his way to the nation's capital, when Gohan caught up to him.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Gohan asked.
"The capital," Vegeta answered simply. "And what business is it of yours?"
"You look pretty steamed," Gohan said. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing I can't handle," Vegeta said as he flew faster, trying to ditch Gohan. Of course it didn't work.
"You might need some help," Gohan said. "I'll come along."
"Thanks for inviting yourself," Vegeta said. "But I'm quite sure I won't need any help."
"If it's all the same, I'd like to tag along," Gohan said.
"Fine," Vegeta said, too tired to fight with Gohan. "Just don't get in my way."
"We're almost there," Gohan said.
Together, they touched down at the United States Postal Service national headquarters, and Vegeta strolled up, tore off the door, and walked in, followed by Gohan.
"Where is it?" Vegeta asked. "Who wanted to see me?"
"I did," a man said as he stepped out of the shadows. "You're quite famous, you know."
"That's nice," Vegeta said. "But I don't give autographs. You'll give me my package, and then I'll be going, thanks."
"What exactly is going on?" Gohan asked, rather confused.
"Oh, and I see you've brought a guest," the man said. "The more, the merrier."
"Enough talk!" Vegeta shouted. "Where is it?"
"I'm afraid I can't give you what you want," the man said. "But instead, I have a proposition for you. Your friend can hear it too."
"What are you babbling about?" Vegeta said.
"My name is Edwin Jones. I want you to work for me," the man said. "You see, this country is on the brink of revolution. And when the revolt takes place, I will be the man to bring this country out of the dark ages. I will be a world leader. The most powerful man in the world! I want you to help me!"
"You're insane," Vegeta said. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There isn't going to be any revolution."
"That is pretty ludicrous," Gohan said simply.
"Oh, you think so?" Edwin said. "I can't expect you to just go along with me, but I do hope you'll consider it at least."
"No thanks," Vegeta said. "I'll take my package now."
"No, you won't," Edwin said. "You sure you won't reconsider?"
"Give me my damn package or I crush your head like a grape in the palm of my hand!" Vegeta yelled at Edwin.
"Well, then, what about you?" Edwin turned to Gohan.
"I think you're off your rocker," Gohan said.
"Oh, so that's how it's going to be," Edwin said. "Very well. 98, 99..."
"Yes, sir?" a woman said as she stepped out of the darkness. She was a brownette, quite beautiful, Gohan and Vegeta both noticed, though also quite sinister looked. She was followed by a large blone-haired man.
"Allow me to introduce you to Artificial Humans number 98 and 99," Edwin said. "Dr. Gero's two final creations."
"Heh," Vegeta said. "So you want to fight? I've scrapped more powerful beings than the likes of these two. Let's get ready, Gohan."
"Heheheh," Gohan said. "I've been wanting a chance to test my skill. Let's get it on."
Number 99, the large man, stepped up.
"You two puny saiyans can't beat me," he said as a large red flame shot up around him. "I'm about to put you in your place."
"Let's get it on!" Vegeta said as he grinned. Suddenly his hair went blonde and fire shot up around him. He had gone Super Saiyan.
"It looks like the party's starting," Gohan said as he took of his coat and carefully folded it and laid it down. Then he turned to the female, Number 98. "Care to dance with me, honey?"
"You've got some nerve, pal," she said. "Now I'm gonna put you in your place." A blue flame shot up around her as she too began powering up.
"Well, then," Gohan said. "By all means, let's get started." His hair went blonde and he too went Super Saiya-jin.
"I should warn you," Edwin said. "You two cannot defeat my warriors."
"Not only will we defeat them," Vegeta said. "I'll send both of them to the scrap heap, and then you'll have a one-way ticket to another dimension. But for now, let's get it on, big guy!"
Number 99 rushed at Vegeta. Vegeta dodged and grabbed him by the arm, swinging him around and around and finally tossing him through the ceiling. He shot through the ceiling after his new sparring partner and landed a knee squarely in the gut. He then put his palm to the android's face and shot a blast of energy, blinding the ailing warrior.
Meanwhile, Gohan was rapidly punching at Number 98. She was dodging his punches, when she suddenly landed a punch in the gut, knocking the wind out of Gohan. She then grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into, and through, a nearby wall. Luckily, he wiggled out of her grip and kicked her in the back, then blasted her with a quick Kamehameha.
Vegeta still had the advantage over Number 99. He had slammed 99 into the ground, and proceeded now to stomp him in the stomach.
"Ha ha ha," Vegeta laughed. "You do not have the power to defeat a Saiya-jin elite!"
"That's what you think," 99 said. He shot up and uppercutted Vegeta into the air. Vegeta landed a few feet away, but quickly got up.
"Smooth," Vegeta said. "But is that all you've got?"
Number 99 responded by punching Vegeta in the jaw, then slinging him, by the arm, into a nearby hillside. Vegeta fell to the ground.
"Ha ha ha," 99 said. "I'm superior to you in every way."
"Wrong," Vegeta said as he pulled himself to his feet. "You see, I'm a Saiya-jin warrior. I am the greatest warrior in the universe. I am unbeatable. You are nothing more than a mess of worn-out toaster parts. You will never have the fighting spirit of a Saiyan."
"ARGH!" 99 screamed as he dashed at Vegeta. Vegeta quickly dodged the clumsy strike and kicked 99 in the face. He then proceeded to rapidly punch 99 in the gut before knocking him several feet away with a devastating uppercut. He then flew up into the air and rained fireballs down onto 99.
"Heheheh," Vegeta said as he looked into the smoke for 99's limp body. Suddenly, 99 shot out of the smoke and flew straight at Vegeta. Vegeta barely dodged the punch and blasted 99 in the face. then flew around and kicked him in the back as hard as he could. 99 fell out of the air and into the concrete below.
"Pity," Vegeta said. "But I guess that's just the way it goes for losers like you." He began to power up one of his most devastating attacks. "BIG BANG ATTACK!" A blast flew from his hands and hit 99, turning his body to ashes.
"Pathetic," Vegeta said. "They certainly don't make them like the used to."
Meanwhile, Gohan had been fighting with Number 98. She had been dodging his attacks for most of the fight, and seemed to have a slight advantage over him. He was starting to get angry.
"You know, sister," Gohan said. "You're really starting to tick me off."
"You really know how to sweet-talk a lady," 98 said to him. "Are you married?"
"Shut up," Gohan said. "No one mocks the son of the mighty Goku!" He shot four quick blasts at her, which she quickly dodged. She tried to counter, but when she flew to where Gohan had been, he was gone.
Suddenly, he kicked her in the back of the head, then hit her with a Kamehameha. She hit the mountainside and collapsed.
"Not done already, surely?" Gohan asked, figuring his work was done.
She slowly picked herself up. "You, sir," she said, "are too cocky." Suddenly she shot at him at full speed and punched him right in the nose, then proceeded to hit him in the stomach with her knee. He finally managed to block and grabbed her by the throat. He lifted her up and quickly and forcefully slammed her into the ground. He then flew up and stomped her in the stomach.
"Please..." she begged in a wispy voice. "No more..."
"Well, I guess you've learned your lesson," Gohan said. He turned and walked off.
Quite unexpectedly he was hit in the back with a chi blast.
"Lesson number one, kid," she said. "Never turn your back on an opponent." Suddenly, she had a rather surprised look on her face. She fell over and steam emerged from her back.
"Lesson number two, girl," Vegeta said as he lowered his hand with two extended fingers. "Never underestimate a Saiya-jin."
Gohan got up and dusted off his uniform. "Gee, thanks," he said.
"Hmph." Vegeta said as he turned and walked off. Gohan looked on with a puzzled expression.
"Did you forget about me?" Number 98 said as she powered up a huge blast and launched it at Gohan.
"KAMEHAMEHA!" he yelled as he shot out a blast to meet hers. She began to put all of her energy into the blast and it slowly began to overtake Gohan's beam. Gohan finally powered up and put every ounce of his strength into his beam. Number 98 powered up to the max, but it wasn't enough to stop Gohan's blast. It plowed through, leaving nothing but dust.
"It's about time," Vegeta said. "I was beginning to think you weren't ever going to beat her."
"Sorry," Gohan said. "I guess we don't all have your killer instinct."
"Hmph," Vegeta said. "Let's go." He shot off back toward Edwin. Gohan followed.
Edwin sat in the darkened office, quite sure his androids would take care of Vegeta and Gohan. He sat and waited.
"Hm," Vegeta said as he stepped into the office. "Your androids weren't much of a challenge for two Super Saiya-jins I'm afraid."
"You... you two," Edwin mumbled, looking for the right words. "You defeated them?! No, it's not possible... it can't be!"
"Sorry," Gohan said. "But we had to send those two to the scrap heap. I hope next year's model gets a few more miles to the gallon."
"This can't be!" Edwin screamed.
"Oh, but it is," Vegeta said. "Now give me my damn package, or I'll send you to join your two assistants, in the most painful way possible!"
"Oh, okay," Edwin said as he handed a package to Vegeta. "Just, just let me go! Please."
Vegeta ignored him and opened the box. Satisfied with it's contents, he turned toward the door. Gohan followed him.
"If you ever mess with me again," Vegeta said. "I'll blast you so hard they'll need tweezers to pick up the pieces." He then flew off, and Gohan left right behind him.
"Well, it looks like you got what you came for," Gohan said. "Let's head back."
"Go on if you want," Vegeta said. "But I've got something I have to do."
"Oh, no," Gohan said. "I've known you long enough to know what that means."
"Hmph," Vegeta smirked. "This is to make sure he never messes with me again." He stretched out his arms and gathered as much energy as possible. "FINAL FLASH!" he screamed as he shot a huge blast at Edwin's office, destroying it and everything else within a mile or so.
"Vegeta," Gohan said. "I'll... I'll see you later." He then flew off.
"Now to get this back home," Vegeta said as he flew off towards home.
"Where's my present, mommy?" Bra asked as she pestered Bulma for her gift yet again.
"Don't worry," Bulma said. "Your daddy's gone to get it."
Just then Vegeta walked in the door wearing a rather nice suit and carrying a large gift-wrapped package.
"Daddy!" Bra screamed as she ran over to hug her father.
"Hey, honey," he said as he backed up, as he generally did to avoid contact with people. He may have cared a lot, but he didn't need everyone knowing about it. "Here's your gift," he said as he handed it to her.
Like an eager child, she tore the wrapping paper off. "Oh, daddy!" she cried. "Just what I wanted! Sailor Moon toys!"
"I still don't know what you see in that show," Vegeta said.
"Thank you, daddy!" she shouted as she put her arms around her father, much to his dismay. "I love you!"
"Um, thanks," he said. "Now go play." In moments she was off to show her friends what her father had gotten her.
"I take it you didn't have any trouble," Bulma said.
"No problems at all," Vegeta said.
"I thought the post office closed before now," Bulma said.
"They are closed," Vegeta said.
"By the way," Bulma said. "Videl called and wanted to know if Gohan was with you."
"He was," Vegeta said as he went into the gravity room to train, which is how he spent most of his time. "We were out playing."
*This story is dedicated to Ellcrys and everyone else who has ever had a job they hate.*